One-thousand reasons
by Charmdfan02
Summary: Tori has always been there for Jade that's no secret. But what will happen when every encounter breaks Tori more and more? What if the person you love is to blind to see how you truly feel? Is writing your feelings for a person that may never love you back a good idea? Can an accident become a chance to reach for love? Jori One-shot.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Victorious or any of the characters.

**A/N:** I know I haven't uploaded any of my other stories, and I'm sorry but I've been a little busy. This is my way of apologizing to all the amazing people who have read my other stories and have asked me to update. I wrote this story a couple of days ago, and since it's been a long time since my last update, I decided to post this. I had a lot of fun typing this one, and I would like to apologize in advance if I have any grammar mistakes. In this story I wanted to put a lot of emotions behind it, I wanted people to experience how the character felt, I wanted to write something tragic but with a happy ending. Hopefully everyone will enjoy it, and if you like this story don't forget to review.

_**One-thousand reasons**_

(Tori's Pov)

I can see what you are doing. I've seen it a hundred times. You cry on my shoulder as you tell me how he let you down. I hold you tight knowing that tomorrow you will be in his arms.

I lie straight to your beautiful face. "Jade his an amazing guy! You were both made for each other. There's nobody else in the world who understands you like he does."

It hurts but I tell you what you want to hear. You don't know, that I know you better than he does, you don't know that I can see through your mask, you don't know how many times I want to forget that I'm just a "convenient friend." Someone you only lean on when you can't take it anymore.

You smile as you give me a peck on the cheek. "Thanks Vega, you always know what to say, and don't forget if you tell anyone that I thank you or gave you a kiss. You won't leave to see another day."

I smile as she leaves giving me her signature death glare. Since the Full Moon Jam she and Beck have fought more than they used too. At a first glance everything seems normal, but there's been a few times that I have seen Jade cry. This is the third time that she came to my house in tears since then.

I want to tell her that his not worth it, if he can't see how much pain he causes her. Beck has been hanging more and more with his admirers. I know there's something more to it, but Jade always makes excuses, and I don't have it in my heart to make her question what they have.

I lay in my bed and drift into sleep.

The next morning I wake up to the sound of Trina screaming for me to hurry up. I looked at my clock and realize that it was almost time for school. I hurry up and get dressed.

We arrived at school just in time. I see Jade and Beck in a passionate kiss. I immediately look away and head to my locker. I grab my stuff and head into class.

I didn't have any of my friends until fourth class. I couldn't concentrate on any of my classes, it didn't matter what I tried my heart wouldn't let me get the kiss out of my mind.

Every time that I would remember I felt something breaking inside of me. I'm suppose to be happy that they're back together, I should just be happy, that she's happy, but there's a part of me that wishes that she would see that his not right for her, a part of me that hoped that they wouldn't get back together.

Soon enough I found myself in my fourth class. Sikowitz hadn't arrived and Jade was on Beck's lap they couldn't keep their hands of each other. I'm not strong enough, my heart is in complete pieces as I hear her laugh at something that he says.

I stay there in front of the class, with my heart on the floor, and I realize that I don't want to see them anymore. I know that I'm not strong, I know that she doesn't need me, I know that she only wants me to tell her what she wants to hear, I know that she only uses me as she pleases, I know it so well so why, why does it hurt so much to see them like this?

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turn around.

"Tori, are you going to take a seat or not?" Sikowitz asks as he sips on a rather large coconut.

I immediately take a seat in front of the class, I couldn't be near them, I wouldn't be able to hold my tears.

I felt a gaze on me so I turned around to see Jade giving me a weird look but then she just scoffs and turns around.

"Class I have to meet someone now, so just pretend to do something." that's all he says before he opens the window and leaves.

I lay my head down and close my eyes, maybe if I pretend that I'm sleeping nobody will talk to me.

"Hey Tori you asleep?" I heard a gentle voice in my ear. I raise my head to see Cat smiling down at me, with a curious look in her eyes.

"I'm not Cat, I'm just really tired."

"One time my brother fell asleep on-" that's all I heard as I see Jade and Beck pass by us, as they headed for the door. Beck says hello as he leaves, but Jade as usual ignores me and just gives a silent nod to Cat.

I knew where they were heading, I knew what they were about to do. I knew it but there was nothing that I could do.

Before Cat could say anything I lay my head down once again. "Sorry Cat I want to be alone for a while I don't feel so good." that's all I said as I felt her leave to probably seat with Andre and Robbie. I heard Andre asked Cat what was wrong with me. Cat told them that I didn't feel good and they accepted it because then they started talking about Cat's brother.

I don't know how long it was before the bell finally rang. I stood up as I headed for lunch. I was the first one at our table but soon enough, Robbie, Cat, and Andre joined me.

It didn't take long for Beck and Jade to appear. I tried not to look at them but I couldn't help it when I found myself gazing at Jade. I saw a big red mark on her neck and all my appetite went away. I abruptly stood up and left.

I heard Andre asking me where I was going but I didn't answer instead I went and found Trina I told her to let me borrow her car, and I had to promise to give her my allowance for the next two weeks.

I never ditch school before, much less drive knowing that I shouldn't, because I still didn't have my license. But I didn't care all I wanted was to get away, as far away from them.

I drove for hours until I finally stopped at an empty park. I set down on one of the benches, and closed my eyes. I tried so hard, to not think of her, but it didn't matter how hard I try I couldn't help it when my mind would go back to the time that we met, the very first time that I saw her. I gave a bitter laugh as I shook my head I stood up and left the park, I couldn't be like this, I didn't have a right.

I started Trina's car and made my way home. I arrived a little too early, just like I expected I found myself alone. I made my way to my room I turned my laptop on and sign in to my Slap page. I found myself clicking on her page. It didn't surprise me when I saw she and Beck had broken up, again.

This is a great example of how their relationship hurts me so much. Every time that I see this, a glimpse of hope makes its way into my heart, a tiny part of me wishes that Jade could see how I truly feel. A darker part of me hates how he doesn't see how special she is.

I hate it, I hate it more than anything. I know she's looking for someone who accepts her for who she is. Someone who can give her everything she wants, someone who won't get mad when her jealousy gets out of control, someone who isn't afraid of her, someone who doesn't walk away when they can't take it anymore. I wish that I could be that someone.

I give a bitter laugh as I take a sit on my bed.

I put my laptop on my lap and I decide to type my feelings for her. Nobody has to know, it will be my secret, she will be my secret. It doesn't take long before I had already half a page. I smile as I look at the page. I typed everything down and then I printed it. I know it's foolish but I want to have this close to me. I want this as a reminder of why I let myself get into so much pain.

If only I had the courage to give this to her. If only she could read how she makes me feel.

I turned my laptop off and drift into sleep, with the paper close to my heart.

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I answered without looking. 'Hello."

"Vega come pick me up." I immediately stand up as I heard Jade trying to keep her sobs from coming out.

"Where are you." I asked as I grabbed my jacket without noticing I put the paper on my jacket pocket and looked at the clock it was four in the morning.

"I'm outside of Beck's RV, just hurry up." She hangs up and I find myself grabbing Trina's car keys, running out of my house, and driving as fast as I can.

I park the car and as I get out I see a blond girl with almost nothing on, looking smugly at Beck and Jade while she leans on Beck's RV.

I see Jade trying so hard to not cry. Beck he's probably trying to explain something that she already knows as the truth. Everything happened so fast I made my way to them while I see Jade running to the other side of the road, Beck tries to reach her they don't notice the car that just crossed to the other lane. I see the blond woman yelling at them about the car, but they're too engross on their fight that they didn't notice.

I didn't know what came over me, the thought of Jade getting hit by the car scared me to death and I found myself running, running as fast as I could. I made it just in time as I push Jade into Beck's arms and then I felt the car colliding into me it hurt so much, I went flying until I hit the hard concrete floor.

I heard my bones cracking it was so hard to breath, my whole body felt like it was on fire, I heard Beck probably calling the ambulance but I could barely keep my eyes opened, and that's when I heard it.

I heard the voice that enchants my whole world. I could barely see, everything seemed like a blur, but I could make her face as she told me to hang on.

"Vega listen to me, don't close your eyes. You're going to be fine. Vega don't you dare die on me!" I felt her head on top of mine, as I felt her tears fall into my face, they slowly made their way down my cheeks.

She's not suppose to be sad, she's not suppose to cry for me. This wasn't right, I promise myself that I would never cause her pain, and here she is sobbing my name. I slowly raised my hand up, it felt like a thousand needles were penetrating my hand, I ignored the pain and I slowly touched her cheek I gently wiped a tear, as I whisper, with a painful voice "Jade, please don't cry it breaks my heart."

Just as those words were out of my mouth everything became so cold, my hand fell to my side, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I heard Jade screaming my name but it sounded like she was so far away.

I woke up to the sound of a beat I opened my eyes slowly to find myself looking at my heart monitor. I try to move my right hand but it felt too heavy. I looked down to find myself looking at black hair. My voice got caught up on my throat, Jade, Jade had her head in my right hand, she was sleeping on a chair with her hands on the bed and her head gently laying on my hand.

I tried to talk but I found myself unable to. Suddenly I heard a gasp and I turned around to see Trina. Sitting far away on the corner of the room. She stood up and immediately ran to my side, she gave me a hug.

I just raised my left hand and as she pulls away, I point to my neck silently asking her for water. She immediately takes a bottle of water from her purse and helps me drink it. When I finished drinking the water bottle she started walking away, she probably was about to tell the doctors, but before she had a chanced to I stopped her.

"Wait, What happened?" I asked with a very raspy voice.

She looks at me with a painful face. "You've been in a coma for two months Tori. After they got you here in the hospital your heart stopped two times, not only that but you broke your left leg, you're left hand is also bruised, and you had a lot of internal bleeding. You took the hit from your left side, and because of that you broke some of your left ribs. Tor, we thought we lost you." After she said that Trina started crying.

"Jade she hasn't left your side since then. Everyone thought that she hated you but she's been here since the beginning. She barely leaves this room and when she does it's just to shower and eat. When the doctors told her that she wasn't allowed to sleep here because only family members could stay. She pulled her scissors and threatened the hospital stuff. Father had to literally drag her away and calm her down. After that he signed a special permission for Jade to stay as long as she likes."

"What about Beck?" I asked fearing the answer.

"He came to visit you once but Jade threw him out of your room. They broke up after the accident and they don't even talk to each other anymore." I just nodded my head and closed my eyes.

"The nurse gave me the note that you had in your pocket Tori. I knew it wasn't my place but I read it and gave it to Jade." I opened my eyes and looked down at Jade, at first I didn't understand what Trina was talking about, until I remembered what I typed before the accident. I silently caress her beautiful hair. Could she hate me for this?

"She doesn't hate you Tori, so don't think that. She read it over and over. She didn't say anything she just told me how stupid she was. She said that she almost lost what she was looking for just because she was too blind to see it."

My heart started beating faster, as a single tear left my eye, that's when I notice the paper that Jade had on her hands it was all worn out but I knew that it was the one that I typed.

"I'm going to call the doctors now Tori." just as Trina tried to leave once again I stopped her.

"Trina, please could you give me a couple of minutes alone? I just, I want to be alone with Jade before the doctors come."

She just nodded as she said "Okay little sis, but only a few minutes. We have to make sure that you will be perfectly fine." I gave a silent smile as she left.

I turned to look at Jade and very gently I took the paper out of her hands. I didn't know what to feel maybe she's just with me out of pity. I knew I was being melodramatic but I couldn't believe that Jade was here for me, only for me.

I felt her move and she gently raised her head, our eyes met and before I could say anything she kissed me. Her lips felt like cotton candy, they were so soft and so tender. The kiss didn't last long, when she pulled away she put her head on the crook of my neck as she gently grabbed my shoulders. I could feel her lips quivering as she cried on to my neck, and just like that day her tears landed softly on my skin.

"Vega, never do that again. I don't know what you were thinking but I'm not worth it." I shook my head as I pulled her tight against me.

"You're worth everything and so much more, my life, my body, my heart, and my soul I'll gladly give them to you." I silently recite the last sentence of the paper that I typed, the paper that I never thought that she would read.

She slowly stands up, our eyes met and for the first time I could see something more than hate in her eyes.

She slowly caresses my cheek as our lips barely meet. "Vega, get better soon. So I can punish you for making me worry so much, and don't you dare try something like that again, or else I'll kill you myself." after she said that she gave me the most passionate kiss and I can't help it when I think that I would do everything that I did all over again, just to feel her lips on mine.

She lays her head down on my shoulder and she takes the paper out of my hands, and I can't help but think that sometimes writing, or in my case typing, our feelings can help us reach for something that we thought we could never have.

* * *

_The first time that we met, my whole world changed. It wasn't because you poured your coffee on me, or because you hated me since the first time we met. It may even sound a little childish but I fell for those mesmerizing eyes. _

_I know most people would tell me that this is not love, that I'm to young to understand it, and maybe their right, but I know that the first time that our eyes met I knew what love was. It's the only explanation that I have, for why I put with you for as long as I have._

_You didn't like me, you made it very clear when you made me act as your dog and embarrass me the first day of class. I should have hated you, I should have, but I couldn't because every time that I tried, I learned more about the real you. I loved how your eyes shine with such a brilliant color as you talk about your plays. I love how your smirk makes my heart skip a beat. I love how sexy you are without trying. I love how protective you get of the people you love._

_I loved the first time that we sang together when we were at Nozu even if it was a fake date. I still counted it as our first. I felt my breath get caught on my throat as I heard your beautiful laugh. I loved everything about that day, the only thing that I dislike were those stupid boys, who almost ruined our day. I never wanted that date to ever end, but it did, and just like that we returned to our usual selves. _

_Sometimes you treated me worse, you have no idea how many times your words cut my heart. You don't have any idea of how many times I tried to bury this feelings deep inside of me. _

_I knew I couldn't when I notice that Beck didn't give you what you wanted,when I noticed that your eyes didn't hold the love that you once had for him, and how could I? When I could see that it broke your heart every time that he would walk away. Even when you acted so self-centered I could still see that you wanted him to reach for you. You always have searched for someone who will love you just for being you, but even if your love for him wasn't strong, you still had feelings for him._

_It hurt me so much to pay someone to ask you out. When all I wanted was to ask you myself, but I knew that I couldn't specially when you secretly looked his way, when I could see deep into your eyes that you wanted him back. _

_You know the rest, both of you got together and it broke my heart, but I was happy for you. After that we became closer, you would always come back and cry on my shoulder, when he made you feel insecure, how I hated him for it._

_Such a beautiful girl deserves the best, and even when I knew how you used me I didn't care, because each time that you treated me like trash, all of those times that you threatened me, every time that I wanted to forget you, Every single day I found one-thousand reasons to love you, to not give up. One-thousand reasons to keep fighting, for someone that I could never have. _

_Every time that you made me sad, my heart would always go back to the memory of when we met. The first time that I saw what love at first sight could be, the first time that I saw how dangerous love is, and the very first time that I realized that;_

_You're worth everything and so much more, my life, my body, my heart, and my soul I'll gladly give them to you**.**_


End file.
